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Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Not all is lost

Anger,Fear,Anxiety,RageThe crushing blow of a reality without you makes me weak,dull,mad,violent. I crawl into a ball gripping tightly to memories that still remain,Wishing I was in your arms, peacefully unaware of the lifetime I will endure without you. Who will build me up when others tear me down?Who will love me unconditionally, without hesitation?Who will […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: “How long are you going to use your mother’s death as an excuse?” Excuse… He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer, Part 3

She can’t cook. She can’t read. She can’t drive. When I got back home to the PNW, I realized mom needed some type of neurological rehabilitation routine and we never received confirmation from the doctors that this retraining was available. Weird. It’s been two weeks since we left the ICU and there are still no […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer! (Prologue)

62 years. Is this all we get? She was supposed to grow old and gray. Maybe even die peacefully in her sleep at age 102, after reaping the rewards of the years she saved for retirement, for our colleges, for grandma’s funeral. Damn! She even saved for the grandkids that life never meant to deny […]

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Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Endless

Love, eternal Flawless win over death. Hope, endearing and bright in the middle of the darkness. Lust, perennial mistress of heart’s desire. Empathy, Bold, gracious and kind keeps these three at bay. Love, hope and lust wisely.

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd

“A Nation, under God, Indivisible…”

We are standing at a crossroads. The high road looks like the right one to take but with so many people going low you start to wonder if you can endure the hike. It feels like common sense is common anymore and all the guise of civility has been ripped off our shoulders. Why are […]

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Adulting Layoff Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Responsibility v. Love

You are not responsible for the ones you love, except if they are children under a certain age or a pet. It may be a controversial thought but the subject is worth discussing. Many of my Millenial peers go through life feeling responsible for friends and family, carrying huge chips on their shoulders that shouldn’t […]