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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Phone/Text/IM or Visit a Friend

Ever wonder why people keep throwing parties and inviting you, even when you RSVP and don’t show up? When you are doing a really good ghosting job but they don’t take the hint? Let me shed some light on their persistence: People are social creatures. We need the warmth of human touch. Intimacy. Compassion. Comfort. […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

The Ranch in Montana

For a couple of weeks now I have been listening to very fervent and passionate retirement plan discussions. Half of my teammates will be eligible to pull the rip chord in the next six months to two years. They are all already in countdown mode or STD – short timer’s disease – since they can’t […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd Wrestling Infertility

Tips To Manage Bereavement

Funeral arrangements, forms, tax returns, and other important documents are a hassle to wrangle, especially if you are far removed from the day to day operations of your loved ones. When my mother passed away she had spared us the ordeal of sorting it out on our own. However, the meticulous planning of an Army […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: “How long are you going to use your mother’s death as an excuse?” Excuse… He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Motherless Birthday

In a few days I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mother. I’ve been thinking about this day for a few months now, mentally preparing to not expect her call, texts or IMs as the night and day of my birth date progresses. It’s a hard pill to swallow. There won’t be any […]

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Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Women Who Kick Ass In Gaming And Beyond

In Memoriam: Grandma Delia

My grandmother was a spectacular woman, a true warrior who stopped at nothing to keep her family safe and well fed. She was ahead of her time in ways that are easy to admire and hard to explain: she was fierce, a very confident and assertive piece of work that always spoke her mind. When […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother’s death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer, Part 4

She’s not herself anymore and this time, she is not bouncing back. Watching the situation from afar is dumbfounding, and I can’t even imagine how my family must be feeling dealing with mom directly. Six weeks ago she was talking, walking and making plans to conquer the world. Today, she sits in a hospital bed […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer, Part 3

She can’t cook. She can’t read. She can’t drive. When I got back home to the PNW, I realized mom needed some type of neurological rehabilitation routine and we never received confirmation from the doctors that this retraining was available. Weird. It’s been two weeks since we left the ICU and there are still no […]

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Countdown to 10! Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

The Wedding: Take One

This year marks the 10th anniversary of my wedding to W. As part of the celebration, I will be documenting our relationship from the proposal up to the wedding, and each year up to our 10th anniversary. Even with the tanking economy and the added wedding expenses we were on a high. Between the bonuses […]