Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: "How long are you going to use your mother's death as an excuse?" Excuse... He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push... Continue Reading →

My First Motherless Birthday

In a few days I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mother. I've been thinking about this day for a few months now, mentally preparing to not expect her call, texts or IMs as the night and day of my birth date progresses. It's a hard pill to swallow. There won't be any... Continue Reading →

In Memoriam: Grandma Delia

My grandmother was a spectacular woman, a true warrior who stopped at nothing to keep her family safe and well fed. She was ahead of her time in ways that are easy to admire and hard to explain: she was fierce, a very confident and assertive piece of work that always spoke her mind. When... Continue Reading →

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother's death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer, Part 4

She's not herself anymore and this time, she is not bouncing back. Watching the situation from afar is dumbfounding, and I can't even imagine how my family must be feeling dealing with mom directly. Six weeks ago she was talking, walking and making plans to conquer the world. Today, she sits in a hospital bed... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer, Part 3

She can't cook. She can't read. She can't drive. When I got back home to the PNW, I realized mom needed some type of neurological rehabilitation routine and we never received confirmation from the doctors that this retraining was available. Weird. It's been two weeks since we left the ICU and there are still no... Continue Reading →

The Wedding: Take One

This year marks the 10th anniversary of my wedding to W. As part of the celebration, I will be documenting our relationship from the proposal up to the wedding, and each year up to our 10th anniversary. Even with the tanking economy and the added wedding expenses we were on a high. Between the bonuses... Continue Reading →

Goodbye, My Friend…

It's hard to acknowledge you are gone. Another car accident claims the life of a good friend. Receiving the call about your precarious condition at the hospital had the medical engineer in me terrified because most people don't come back from DAI trauma. You were most likely unaware of what was happening in your induced... Continue Reading →

The Problem with Grief

Life plays out like a tragedy. In the end, we all die. The journey plays out like a novel, written by the hand of the indelible gods; the entropy of our lives resolved by eternal slumber. Those who remain alive, left behind by those they loved and have risen to the heavens, have to deal... Continue Reading →

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