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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Interrupted

I want the world to stop. To remain as she last saw it. To hover, unchanged, between what was and what could have been. I need back all those minutes with her, To enjoy the booming laughter; The lovely smile that always grew wider and brighter when I entered the room. A part of me […]

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Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Not all is lost

Anger,Fear,Anxiety,RageThe crushing blow of a reality without you makes me weak,dull,mad,violent. I crawl into a ball gripping tightly to memories that still remain,Wishing I was in your arms, peacefully unaware of the lifetime I will endure without you. Who will build me up when others tear me down?Who will love me unconditionally, without hesitation?Who will […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Motherless Birthday

In a few days I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mother. I’ve been thinking about this day for a few months now, mentally preparing to not expect her call, texts or IMs as the night and day of my birth date progresses. It’s a hard pill to swallow. There won’t be any […]

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Adulting Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

The Problem with Grief

Life plays out like a tragedy. In the end, we all die. The journey plays out like a novel, written by the hand of the indelible gods; the entropy of our lives resolved by eternal slumber. Those who remain alive, left behind by those they loved and have risen to the heavens, have to deal […]

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd

Death Defines You

There are only two things in life that are certain, death and taxes. I’ve tried defining other certainties, aside from bodily functions, and this seems to be fairly accurate. Between all the baby announcements, weddings and birthdays, a few untimely and sudden deaths have sneaked their way into my life. After the dust settled and everyone […]