In the Search for Karma Points

During the last month my family has donated, gifted, sold or tossed items that no longer brought us joy, as Marie Kondo would say, in the hopes that they'd become purposeful again. The poor things had been idle for so long, relegated to the deepest and darkest storage corners that they must have felt neglected.... Continue Reading →

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: "How long are you going to use your mother's death as an excuse?" Excuse... He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 13

Putting the estate in order has been an overwhelming undertaking. It's definitely sucking all the joy out of my life. I'm sure my sister isn't enjoying it either. We are both mentally exhausted. Banks. Lawyers. Taxes. Insurance claims. Every day there is a new paper to fill, a new insurance adjuster or player to bring... Continue Reading →

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother's death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 12

Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother's death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn't drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I've become all these... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 11

I don't think people get it... I am the person responsible for everything that happened. Me. I was the reason my mother had a plan for everything just to ensure my mental and physical safety. Every decision she ever made was for me, later for us, since the whole point of giving me a sister... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer, Part 10

"SHE IS THE VETERAN!" My uncle, his wife, my sister and I all yell in unison. The Funeral Home's sales representative has been taking down her info for 20 minutes and conveniently forgot what we had said. Every answer to the previous questions revealed aspects of my mother's life that had been private and fuzzy... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer, Part 9

"It's a matter of days now..." Calmly, I booked the next flight out and took my time packing. If the message was accurate, I'd need to take with me clothes fit for a military funeral. The saving grace was that my husband was staying behind and could bring me anything I'd miss; Mom wanted him... Continue Reading →

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