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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Interrupted

I want the world to stop. To remain as she last saw it. To hover, unchanged, between what was and what could have been. I need back all those minutes with her, To enjoy the booming laughter; The lovely smile that always grew wider and brighter when I entered the room. A part of me […]

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Adulting Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Weddings

We Lost Dear Friends on New Year’s Day

Five years ago, I released a post about Jesús and Kate’s murder: I Lost a Friend on New Year’s Day. Writing about their life, love and friendship allowed me to pay tribute not only to them but to everyone touched by this tragedy. Words cannot accurately describe the magnitude of our sorrow but it is […]

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Cheers to 2020!

Here’s to the earthquakes, The raging fires, The passionate Earth letting us know it’s in desperate need of change. Here’s to the politics, The bad decisions of those elected to lead without knowing how to. Here’s to the civil wars, The unrest of social justice, To the plight of the oppressed and misunderstood. May we […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Sifting Through The Past

Photographs. Papers. Triplicate copies of 214 Forms. Certificates. Divorce decrees. Typewritten letters of commendations and gratitude. Notes on the margins of decade old bills. The contents of the last box of heirlooms lays on the carpet floor waited to be collated, recycled, edited. The mission was a success. None of these papers and mementos tug […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd Project Zach

The Bestest Boy

We drive up to the tiny cottage house, solemn, quiet, amidst a pale soft ray of full moon light. The glow turned everything gray, with small whisps of black and white here and there. The small open front door cast a bright warm inviting luminescence that made one forget about the cold crisp summer air. […]

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Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Deliberate and Specific

Bold and brave,Kind and compassionate,Articulate and fierce,Strong and unwavering,Chaotic yet organized. These are the traits of a warrior,Of an entrepreneurial soul,Of a resilient spirit. Don’t let failure define you.

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd Poetry

FOMO (A Poem)

I check my phone constantly,Wondering,Waiting,Anticipating,Fearing the worst. What if today is the day?The moment the good turns into bad,The unfortunate confluence of experiences that deprives me of you? The TV,A cool breeze,The warmth of a freshly cleaned towel,An unpaired sock.They all remind me of what was,of what could have been,of what was lost to good […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Death Becomes Her

Throughout my life, the only constant was my grandmother, Delia. Bravely, she took on the role of guardian and caregiver while my mother finished Officer Training School and other responsibilities, thousands of miles away from me. Fort Huachuca had been proven to not be the best place to raise a child, and after a few […]

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Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Not all is lost

Anger,Fear,Anxiety,RageThe crushing blow of a reality without you makes me weak,dull,mad,violent. I crawl into a ball gripping tightly to memories that still remain,Wishing I was in your arms, peacefully unaware of the lifetime I will endure without you. Who will build me up when others tear me down?Who will love me unconditionally, without hesitation?Who will […]

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F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Christmas Without Her

No birthday calls. No running through the airport to meet her at the wrong terminal. No cutesy messages on WhatsApp or Facebook IM… Zero. Nada. Nothing. Only the love remains surrounded by an eerie silence. The void, a great abyss in my soul, that darkens and deepens, obliterating any encounter with a resemblance of joy. […]