I want the world to stop. To remain as she last saw it. To hover, unchanged, between what was and what could have been. I need back all those minutes with her, To enjoy the booming laughter; The lovely smile that always grew wider and brighter when I entered the room. A part of me […]
Category: F@%k Cancer
Ambiguous Loss
Flight. Fight. Flee. There are no other choices when confronted with trauma, with a dangerous and life threatening situation. Each occurrence elicits a unique reaction. Each reaction has its own flow of consequences. The difference between living to tell the tale or becoming a cautionary one. However, what happens when the events affect us because […]
Mom, I still miss you…
It’s been two years without you and I can’t still believe you are gone, trapped between my intangible memories and the great beyond. Two years of wishing and hoping you’d come through the door and yell “surprise, I’m here!”, returning the color to my gray toned existence. An eternity of unwritten texts, calls and conversations […]
The Christmas Card
My S10 Note+ buzzes and shuffles around the kitchen island. Dread creeps in. Someone somewhere needs to reach me, NOW. Ugh! The introvert in me prepares for the worst – my clan and peeps text first, unless it’s an emergency. 😅 What now? 😶 A quick peek at the caller ID shows it’s my dad. […]
Sifting Through The Past
Photographs. Papers. Triplicate copies of 214 Forms. Certificates. Divorce decrees. Typewritten letters of commendations and gratitude. Notes on the margins of decade old bills. The contents of the last box of heirlooms lays on the carpet floor waited to be collated, recycled, edited. The mission was a success. None of these papers and mementos tug […]
The Bestest Boy
We drive up to the tiny cottage house, solemn, quiet, amidst a pale soft ray of full moon light. The glow turned everything gray, with small whisps of black and white here and there. The small open front door cast a bright warm inviting luminescence that made one forget about the cold crisp summer air. […]
Not sure what to say or do to a family battling cancer or any terminal illness? Look no further! After dealing with canned responses during my mom’s convalescence and funeral, I decided to put together a list of do’s and don’ts. It is our family’s hope that sharing these faux pas will avoid others pain, […]
Throughout my life, the only constant was my grandmother, Delia. Bravely, she took on the role of guardian and caregiver while my mother finished Officer Training School and other responsibilities, thousands of miles away from me. Fort Huachuca had been proven to not be the best place to raise a child, and after a few […]
Lost
ANGER. A flury of snow. The fury of a thousand calls and text that will never be sent or seen; The deep ire of learning to live an unchampioned life. The realization that the rotting flesh led to unresolved issues and excess emotional baggage because we couldn’t properly say goodbye. There you lie, Beyond the […]
When I started writing under the Mrsenginerd pseudonym I was in the middle of a career shift. My employer had done a reduction in workforce exercise that had left me jobless a month after my 10th anniversary with the company (The Layoff). As a married woman with no kids, there was a lot of free […]
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