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Adulting En español F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Fotos y recuerdos

Unas semanas antes de Telegram-gate, la súbita implosión de la administración del gobe Ricardo Roselló, sentía una necesidad inmensa de hablar con mi madre. El país parecía estar entrando en un momento de crisis, uno en dónde los partidos políticos se presentarían impotentes ante los cambios sociales que la generación del Yo No Me Dejo […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: “How long are you going to use your mother’s death as an excuse?” Excuse… He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 13

Putting the estate in order has been an overwhelming undertaking. It’s definitely sucking all the joy out of my life. I’m sure my sister isn’t enjoying it either. We are both mentally exhausted. Banks. Lawyers. Taxes. Insurance claims. Every day there is a new paper to fill, a new insurance adjuster or player to bring […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Putting Things into Perspective

Tuesday, July 10 at 5:00 PM. The basement parking lot is eerily quiet, mostly empty except for a few cars and my light blue SUV, a short walk across the way. My steady steps echo off the walls, sending me into a soothing hypnotic trance. 👟👟👟 Random thoughts quickly flood my mind as the safe […]

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Etiquette F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

A Poppy To Remember The Fallen?

This was my first memorial day without my mother. She didn’t die in combat or in the line of duty, and was fortunate to have retired a Colonel from the Puerto Rico Army National Guard. Her battle with cancer was a short one, and it was her warrior spirit, on and off the battlefield, that […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Lessons From The Laundry Pile

I must have been around three years old when my mother decided to enlist me for sock folding duty. It was a task she took very seriously because protecting your feet from the dangers of humidity and water accumulation inside military boot had been her worst enemy as she went up through the ranks. Maybe […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Motherless Birthday

In a few days I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mother. I’ve been thinking about this day for a few months now, mentally preparing to not expect her call, texts or IMs as the night and day of my birth date progresses. It’s a hard pill to swallow. There won’t be any […]

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En español F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Despedida

Éste es el elogio original que escribí para mi madre, en espera de su partida. Durante el funeral, mi prima leyó las palabras de una de las mejores amigas de mi madre, mi primo y mi tía dejaron sentir su pérdida, y yo cerré la ceremonia con un corto mensaje, embolsillándome toda esta longaniza de […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother’s death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 12

Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother’s death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn’t drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I’ve become all these […]