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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Sifting Through The Past

Photographs. Papers. Triplicate copies of 214 Forms. Certificates. Divorce decrees. Typewritten letters of commendations and gratitude. Notes on the margins of decade old bills. The contents of the last box of heirlooms lays on the carpet floor waited to be collated, recycled, edited. The mission was a success. None of these papers and mementos tug […]

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd Poetry

FOMO (A Poem)

I check my phone constantly,Wondering,Waiting,Anticipating,Fearing the worst. What if today is the day?The moment the good turns into bad,The unfortunate confluence of experiences that deprives me of you? The TV,A cool breeze,The warmth of a freshly cleaned towel,An unpaired sock.They all remind me of what was,of what could have been,of what was lost to good […]

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd

The Valedictorian

It’s been over 20 years since I graduated high school. My diploma can legally sit at a bar in any city in the world! 😱 In hindsight, I can’t honestly state that those were the best years of my life. All I know is that they weren’t quite the worst either. 🤷‍♀️ The truth must […]

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Adulting Mrs Enginerd

“Where was I going with this?”

Writing is hard. Writing a blog about DIYs, life, love and the pursuits of nerds is even harder. The passion for storytell is rapidly diluted by the hardships of being a female engineer – married, motherless, and with no children – a unicorn in the world of geeks and STEM. My need to share my […]

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F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Lost

ANGER. A flury of snow. The fury of a thousand calls and text that will never be sent or seen; The deep ire of learning to live an unchampioned life. The realization that the rotting flesh led to unresolved issues and excess emotional baggage because we couldn’t properly say goodbye. There you lie, Beyond the […]

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F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Christmas Without Her

No birthday calls. No running through the airport to meet her at the wrong terminal. No cutesy messages on WhatsApp or Facebook IM… Zero. Nada. Nothing. Only the love remains surrounded by an eerie silence. The void, a great abyss in my soul, that darkens and deepens, obliterating any encounter with a resemblance of joy. […]

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F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Please and Thank You

This Thanksgiving Day, my first without my mother, I’m taking a moment to address all those who made our life bearable as we witnessed her memories drift away as she gracefully accepted her fate due to Stage IV brain cancer. Read on… According to my Titi (auntie), my mother didn’t hesitate to ordered people around […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Mayday! Mayday!

Bzzz. Bzzz. My Insta friend Cocoa texts me to ask for help with her seizure and cancer meds campaign. It’s 7:00 am on a Tuesday but I’m already awake; Zach has been barking intermittently since 4:55 am. The Ring side camera was on a rampage, chiming loudly and constantly even though the video showed no […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 13

Putting the estate in order has been an overwhelming undertaking. It’s definitely sucking all the joy out of my life. I’m sure my sister isn’t enjoying it either. We are both mentally exhausted. Banks. Lawyers. Taxes. Insurance claims. Every day there is a new paper to fill, a new insurance adjuster or player to bring […]

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F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd Poetry

Lost in Thought (Poem)

Memories. That’s all I see around me. The places I used to go. The person I used to be. I wander, as a stranger in my own land, letting each recollection guide me to a better place, To where childhood dreams were full of wonder; a time when everything was possible. Instead, what remains is […]