Happy 11th Anniversary?

You meet someone. You fall in love. 🤪🥰 After days/months/years of courtship you get engaged or dedice to tie the knot. Venues and plans are explored. You pick a date based on the experiences that best describe your relationship. Perhaps one that is close to your future spouses birthday, or your own, so no one... Continue Reading →

Our Business is Chaos

The last decade has been full of eventualities; my grandfather died three weeks before my formal wedding 10.5 years ago and the roller coaster ride that is life has gained incredible momentum and speed through the sharp turns and steep drops created by the ensuing chaos. If my life had a soundtrack, you'd be hearing... Continue Reading →

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: "How long are you going to use your mother's death as an excuse?" Excuse... He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 13

Putting the estate in order has been an overwhelming undertaking. It's definitely sucking all the joy out of my life. I'm sure my sister isn't enjoying it either. We are both mentally exhausted. Banks. Lawyers. Taxes. Insurance claims. Every day there is a new paper to fill, a new insurance adjuster or player to bring... Continue Reading →

Putting Things into Perspective

Tuesday, July 10 at 5:00 PM. The basement parking lot is eerily quiet, mostly empty except for a few cars and my light blue SUV, a short walk across the way. My steady steps echo off the walls, sending me into a soothing hypnotic trance. 👟👟👟 Random thoughts quickly flood my mind as the safe... Continue Reading →

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother's death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 12

Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother's death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn't drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I've become all these... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer: Part 11

I don't think people get it... I am the person responsible for everything that happened. Me. I was the reason my mother had a plan for everything just to ensure my mental and physical safety. Every decision she ever made was for me, later for us, since the whole point of giving me a sister... Continue Reading →

F@%k Cancer, Part 10

"SHE IS THE VETERAN!" My uncle, his wife, my sister and I all yell in unison. The Funeral Home's sales representative has been taking down her info for 20 minutes and conveniently forgot what we had said. Every answer to the previous questions revealed aspects of my mother's life that had been private and fuzzy... Continue Reading →

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