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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

The Ranch in Montana

For a couple of weeks now I have been listening to very fervent and passionate retirement plan discussions. Half of my teammates will be eligible to pull the rip chord in the next six months to two years. They are all already in countdown mode or STD – short timer’s disease – since they can’t […]

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Adulting Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Be The Guide

Fact: My husband stumbles about the world clueless. He doesn’t know what he wants, where he is going, and much less how to get what he needs to solve for the other two. Every time a priest mentions in a wedding homily that the wife must follow the husband my spidey senses tingle. What if […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

“Hi! I’m a Recovering Army Brat”

The day I turned 23 my military ID expired. In a few months I’d be put of college and off to work full time for a big aerospace and defense contractor thus my mother decided to not renew my credentials. Adapting to life as a civilian, as an outsider, was challenging. As the daughter of […]

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Adulting Countdown to 10! Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Weddings

Happy 11th Anniversary?

You meet someone. You fall in love. 🤪🥰 After days/months/years of courtship you get engaged or dedice to tie the knot. Venues and plans are explored. You pick a date based on the experiences that best describe your relationship. Perhaps one that is close to your future spouses birthday, or your own, so no one […]

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Adulting Hurricane Maria Mrs Enginerd

Our Business is Chaos

The last decade has been full of eventualities; my grandfather died three weeks before my formal wedding 10.5 years ago and the roller coaster ride that is life has gained incredible momentum and speed through the sharp turns and steep drops created by the ensuing chaos. If my life had a soundtrack, you’d be hearing […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: “How long are you going to use your mother’s death as an excuse?” Excuse… He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 13

Putting the estate in order has been an overwhelming undertaking. It’s definitely sucking all the joy out of my life. I’m sure my sister isn’t enjoying it either. We are both mentally exhausted. Banks. Lawyers. Taxes. Insurance claims. Every day there is a new paper to fill, a new insurance adjuster or player to bring […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Putting Things into Perspective

Tuesday, July 10 at 5:00 PM. The basement parking lot is eerily quiet, mostly empty except for a few cars and my light blue SUV, a short walk across the way. My steady steps echo off the walls, sending me into a soothing hypnotic trance. 👟👟👟 Random thoughts quickly flood my mind as the safe […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother’s death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many […]

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Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 12

Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother’s death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn’t drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I’ve become all these […]