Mrs. Enginerd - Nerd Whisperer
Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother’s death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many […]
Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother’s death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn’t drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I’ve become all these […]
I don’t think people get it… I am the person responsible for everything that happened. Me. I was the reason my mother had a plan for everything just to ensure my mental and physical safety. Every decision she ever made was for me, later for us, since the whole point of giving me a sister […]
“SHE IS THE VETERAN!” My uncle, his wife, my sister and I all yell in frantic unison. The Funeral Home’s sales rep mentally facepalms himself. After jotting down her info for over 20 minutes he had conveniently forgotten we had opened the exchange stating she was ex-military. Deliberately, my sister slowly slides over the Colonel’s […]
“It’s a matter of days now…” Calmly, I booked the next flight out and took my time packing. If the message was accurate, I’d need to take with me clothes fit for a military funeral. The saving grace was that my husband was staying behind and could bring me anything I’d miss; Mom wanted him […]
Mom had barely made it to Christmas but my grandmother hadn’t. Oh boy! My phone was blown up with messages of worry and urgency. The timing was brilliant and convenient, bare with me, assuming you believe grandma knew of the cancer and opted to avoid burying her firstborn. Between flight prices and obligations I decided […]
Can’t. Used to. Was. Doesn’t. Loved. These are the words I never thought I would use to describe my mother at 63 years of age. So full of life a few months ago and now she is, for the most part, bed ridden and/or lethargic. She can barely speak, eat or drink. This brick house […]
I need time to stop. For the seconds to slowly trickle and the minutes to last a lifetime. I’m not ready to see days turn into nights, to be closer yet farther away… Was this it? The last time I would see her? I found myself on an red eye flight to MSP, connecting through […]
https://wp.me/p6kdp4-62 Another point of view of my mom’s condition and cancer battle. My sister is going through hell, and like my mom, there’s not much I can do to save her other than love them harder…
Picture of my mom in front of an A-10, early 80s, courtesy of her friend Angelo of the CI Rangers. The toughest part of this cancer journey has been seeing my mom slowly deteriorate, an inevitable spiral that has forced me to reflect on who she was, and what she has accomplished. She’s a very […]
Mrs. Enginerd - Nerd Whisperer 
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