Categories
Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

My First Motherless Birthday

In a few days I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mother. I’ve been thinking about this day for a few months now, mentally preparing to not expect her call, texts or IMs as the night and day of my birth date progresses. It’s a hard pill to swallow. There won’t be any […]

Categories
En español F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

Despedida

Éste es el elogio original que escribí para mi madre, en espera de su partida. Durante el funeral, mi prima leyó las palabras de una de las mejores amigas de mi madre, mi primo y mi tía dejaron sentir su pérdida, y yo cerré la ceremonia con un corto mensaje, embolsillándome toda esta longaniza de […]

Categories
Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Women Who Kick Ass In Gaming And Beyond

In Memoriam: Grandma Delia

My grandmother was a spectacular woman, a true warrior who stopped at nothing to keep her family safe and well fed. She was ahead of her time in ways that are easy to admire and hard to explain: she was fierce, a very confident and assertive piece of work that always spoke her mind. When […]

Categories
Adulting F@%k Cancer Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd

Complicated Bereavement

Disclaimer: Although my though process post my mother’s death has been understandably debilitating, I have not been diagnosed as having a complicated bereavement. If you are looking for information about clinical treatments for this disorder to help someone you know check out The Center for Complicated Grief website. There are many dimensions to grief, many […]

Categories
Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 12

Resilient. Strong. Brave. These are a few adjectives thrown my way these past four weeks. My mother’s death left a trail of bills and paperwork that had to be addressed as quickly as possible to ensure we didn’t drop the ball and lost valuable assets to non payment or other technicalities. I’ve become all these […]

Categories
Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer: Part 11

I don’t think people get it… I am the person responsible for everything that happened. Me. I was the reason my mother had a plan for everything just to ensure my mental and physical safety. Every decision she ever made was for me, later for us, since the whole point of giving me a sister […]

Categories
Adulting F@%k Cancer Mrs Enginerd

F@%k Cancer, Part 10

“SHE IS THE VETERAN!” My uncle, his wife, my sister and I all yell in frantic unison. The Funeral Home’s sales rep mentally facepalms himself. After jotting down her info for over 20 minutes he had conveniently forgotten we had opened the exchange stating she was ex-military. Deliberately, my sister slowly slides over the Colonel’s […]