Mrs. Enginerd - Nerd Whisperer
ANGER. A flury of snow. The fury of a thousand calls and text that will never be sent or seen; The deep ire of learning to live an unchampioned life. The realization that the rotting flesh led to unresolved issues and excess emotional baggage because we couldn’t properly say goodbye. There you lie, Beyond the […]
No birthday calls. No running through the airport to meet her at the wrong terminal. No cutesy messages on WhatsApp or Facebook IM… Zero. Nada. Nothing. Only the love remains surrounded by an eerie silence. The void, a great abyss in my soul, that darkens and deepens, obliterating any encounter with a resemblance of joy. […]
This Thanksgiving Day, my first without my mother, I’m taking a moment to address all those who made our life bearable as we witnessed her memories drift away as she gracefully accepted her fate due to Stage IV brain cancer. Read on… According to my Titi (auntie), my mother didn’t hesitate to ordered people around […]
For a couple of weeks now I have been listening to very fervent and passionate retirement plan discussions. Half of my teammates will be eligible to pull the rip chord in the next six months to two years. They are all already in countdown mode or STD – short timer’s disease – since they can’t […]
Funeral arrangements, forms, tax returns, and other important documents are a hassle to wrangle, especially if you are far removed from the day to day operations of your loved ones. When my mother passed away she had spared us the ordeal of sorting it out on our own. However, the meticulous planning of an Army […]
The day I turned 23 my military ID expired. In a few months I’d be put of college and off to work full time for a big aerospace and defense contractor thus my mother decided to not renew my credentials. Adapting to life as a civilian, as an outsider, was challenging. As the daughter of […]
My husband thinks about what he just said unapologetically: “How long are you going to use your mother’s death as an excuse?” Excuse… He thinks my grief is an invention, a concocted rouse to make his life difficult. HIS LIFE. As if losing my mother was an event I could get over at the push […]
Tuesday, July 10 at 5:00 PM. The basement parking lot is eerily quiet, mostly empty except for a few cars and my light blue SUV, a short walk across the way. My steady steps echo off the walls, sending me into a soothing hypnotic trance. 👟👟👟 Random thoughts quickly flood my mind as the safe […]
This was my first memorial day without my mother. She didn’t die in combat or in the line of duty, and was fortunate to have retired a Colonel from the Puerto Rico Army National Guard. Her battle with cancer was a short one, and it was her warrior spirit, on and off the battlefield, that […]
I must have been around three years old when my mother decided to enlist me for sock folding duty. It was a task she took very seriously because protecting your feet from the dangers of humidity and water accumulation inside military boot had been her worst enemy as she went up through the ranks. Maybe […]
Mrs. Enginerd - Nerd Whisperer 
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