Marriage: Year Five

This year, 2018, marks the 10th anniversary of my wedding to W. As part of the celebration, I will be documenting our relationship from the proposal up to the wedding, and each year up to our 10th anniversary.

Around year five, our marriage went back into the more natural meh vs yay vs ahh routine we have come to know as routine. Because of the dual anniversary dates, August 8 and December 27, we had settled to celebrate love, life and loss in September, which became our permanent vacation placeholder. The 2013-2014 year was extremely uneventful, so much so I had to go back to search pictures and archives to recall what happened during this year other than the trip to Prague. All I found was our first college football game (Go Huskies!), a trip to Atlanta, and a playoff game between the Blazers and Spurs. Nothing major.

A few years earlier, W had worked in a site about 45 mins away from where we lived. When he was done with the commute, he looked for a job closer to home (still in the same company). By pure luck his old boss, who had moved to a new team three years earlier, decided to pull him into his group as a service engineer. W was now in charge of deploying technology internationally and tracking it real time to troubleshoot. The catch? He had to work 12 hour shifts, in weird patterns including nights and weekends. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ On the plus side, he got to fly to Mexico, Japan and Colombia during his tenure. It would be another year before I got to tag along with him to Bogotá. More on that later.

While he was traipsing the world and wowing executives with his quiet hardworking self, a side I never get to see because he talks to me ALL THE TIME, I got to enjoy a lot of me time reacquainting with old friends, and making new ones alone. It created its own issues as peeps and random strangers judged me for enjoying myself without him, as if my happiness somehow betrayed him. Many people took offense because I was hanging out with my male friends and didn’t seem a bit heartbroken over the situation. Goes to show how little we value asking deep and probing questions in favor of gossip and judgy chatter. Did I miss W? Sure. Did I need him to feel fulfilled, or to experience life fully? No.

Case in point: the Japan trip. W was sent to work at Narita airport for about a month, stationed by his lonesome at the customer’s home base. The first weekend he moped around because I wasn’t there but once he got a handle on things you couldn’t find him in his hotel room. All the walking around and smaller dietary portions he lost weight fast, about 15 lbs no less. Through the job he made new local friends and got to spend more time learning about the culture. It was the first time we had spent so much time apart in almost 10 years. I had our king sized Sleep Number bed all to myself! All I was missing was a doggy. More on that later too.

Summer came and went quickly. BBQs, interns, the usual. This allowed us to plan a week in Prague which turned out to be the best trip we had ever enjoyed. History. ✔ Art. ✔ Culture. ✔ The place is lovely, modern and super friendly. Paradise. Nothing could ruin our mood. When it rained, pfft, we bought rain gear. When W didn’t get to the room on time because he was hanging out at the bar, pajama clad me ushered him upstairs. Needed a reservation? Used Trip Advisor and friend recommendations to find hidden gems. Beer was cheaper than water. W didn’t want to leave! Check out the post My Week in Prague for more details. It’s a must go to place, one of the top tourist attractions in the world and it isn’t really that crowded in the late summer or early fall.

We were on a high. It felt good to finally have a trip that was also a big win. The weight of Barcelona’s bad experience was lifted. Maybe it was going to be okay after all. To this day, Prague is our most precious memory, the last time we were truly happy we had embarked on an adventure. A few years earlier I was so certain it was a matter of time before we parted ways. After this trip, life was starting to fall back into place. W’s DUI probation would be up soon which helped ease his inner demons and tensions. Slowly but surely we were climbing out of the hole. Little did I know that in a few months, I’d have a opportunity to change our perspective completely and vindicate myself. Hey, the spark wasn’t gone, might as well feed it. Small big win.

Stay tuned for Marriage: Year Six.

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