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Adulting Mrs Enginerd

Big Heart, Big Guilt

More.

There’s always something more that could’ve been done.

A larger donation.

A bigger effort.

A grander gesture.

A better plan or result…

It’s hard to not feel guilty when your imagination can think of a 1000 different ways to raise more funds. To engage more people. To advocate for the cause. To heighten an experience. Others make it look so easy, especially when their network aligns 100% with their goals. They ask and bam! THEY RECEIVE!

I’ve always admired, or rather envied, those willing to give as much as is required without feeling drained or guilty because they didn’t go “the extra mile”. For them enough is enough – a clearly defined set of boundaries. These bleeding hearts know when to stop the flow. I, on the other hand bleed out every, single, time!

Articulating ones limits and sticking to them without compromising your integrity is key.

It’s so commonplace to attend to others’ needs while neglecting our own. We feel cheated because in the process of pleasing those we care about, we stop caring about ourselves. Truthfully, there’s no peace to be kept if the giver is bereft of giving. You can’t bequeath what you don’t own. Why we shy away from cashing in on what’s owed – on what we have earned – eludes me. Respect. Love. Time off. Quiet. You must reap what you sow, or risk it spoiling. The greater good is not so great nor good if we keep sacrificing our well-being for the sake of saving the rest.

It’s taken a while to find the balance between altruism and self-preservation; to identify when I am being taken advantage of and when the need justifies going above and beyond. I’m still learning to forgive myself when I can’t spend “enough” time, effort or money on a worthy cause. I can’t solve every problem, and no one expects me to.

Do what you can. Be cognizant of your limitations. The rest will take care of itself.

By MrsEnginerd

Engineer, DIY enthusiast, world traveler, avid reader, pitbull owner, and nerd whisperer. 😎🤓😘🐶

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