Taking out the trash.
Fighting inner demons.
Slaying online bosses.
Humoring crazy in-laws.
Buying the best pet food and treats.
Ordering pizza sans your favorite toppings.
There are so many things we reluctantly do, day in and day out, for those we love. Little things that take time and effort, and consume us to the point we forget we must also extend these courtesy to ourselves. There is value in taking care of each other, of knowing your boundaries and reinforcing them. It’s the right thing to do! I see people belittle themselves, bending over backwards every day to conform to the notion of who they have to be; of what they think they must do to feel loved and be loved by those surrounding them. It’s heartbreaking to see self care misinterpreted for selfishness.
You have to put your oxygen mask on before assisting others in case of emergency.
Unrequited sacrifices, the things we do for love, will drain your energy if you don’t learn to pace yourself. These grand gestures are yours alone to give, and should be earned by those who request your attention or assistance. No one in their right mind would demand that we put our own dreams on hold for the sake of others. Not our children. Not our spouses. Not even our own selflessness should deprive us of the opportunity to achieve and demonstrate the talents we possess. As the movie Dirty Dancing stated: “No one puts Baby in a corner.” Baby in this case is you!
This above all: to thine own self be true.Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3 by William Shakespeare
Take a load off. Chill. Those who truly love us will not only understand but adapt to the situation, taking on greater responsibility or learning to respecting boundaries. It might take a lot of discipline and structure but the effort will generate bountiful rewards. Reclaim your independence, your power. Be bold. Be brave. Don’t forget to do you, Boo. Be sincere about the limits of your abilities and resilience, of how much you are willing to bend before they break you. Only you know what’s best for yourself. Do right by the person that matters most, and never surrender your right to be happy.