After fifteen years together, my husband has amassed a collection of self imposed rules that take away the coolest aspect of being alive: the flexibility in our choices. I get that kids need discipline and structure to gain a sense of empowerment and accountability for their efforts and actions but if the rules are to strict, you risk breaking when trying to bend the situation to your advantage. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that the opposite is healthy either or that a corrupt ethic is best. The point is that if you want to become more effective and efficient at the adulting game you will need to leave some wiggly room to get creative and inspired.
Many people fail because their self imposed rules are too narrow and go unchallenged for so long that they become cannon. I understand your parents may have programmed you to react and behave as they saw fit but at some point you have to review the code and make some adjustments. Our progenitors’ approval is no longer required after we set out on our own. Be it 16 or 34, our life is ours to live and to dictate. Toss all the baggage aside and check that you are not carrying unrealistic expectations or the dreams and aspirations that others placed on you. You are in control of your own destiny.
Following etiquette rules, organizational decrees or the law is an inevitable part of life but even those, and social or unwritten rules, can be amended or replaced. Just because your creed, religion, gender or race has gone through particular experiences that does not imply that these cannot be used to positively influence and affect change. It is truly heartbreaking to see peeps go through this existence as mindless drones, regurgitating what their elders taught them, following a map that will not lead them to success. There is more to life than “Go to college, get a job, find a partner, get married and have children, buy a house and work hard at your career”. Give yourself leeway to explore the roads less traveled, and all the choices and opportunities in sight. Create a new set of rules and paradigms that are less rigid and can shift once you enrich yourself by navigating on your own.
If you own a dishwasher, use it. It saves water, time and the really good ones don’t leave as much residue as they used to. If you can afford a cleaning or house chore assistant, take advantage of the free time you can by delegating tasks that take too much of your time. Hire a nanny or au pair instead of taking two kids to daycare. It doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, it is how you invest your money and your time what really makes you wealthy in knowledge and street smart. Don’t be afraid to stand out or be an exception to the rules. Keeping your head down, oblivious to what the world has to offer is worse than the heat you may take for striking out on your own path.