This one goes out to all of the guys that told the perfect girl they either they loved them like a sister, that as a man they weren’t good enough for her or that they wanted a girl like their best friend. Idiots!
Dear (Insert Name Here),
It’s me, the girl you met once that had all the cool stories about being basketball team captain and placing first or second place at every contest she entered. The strong, compassionate, nice, pretty and charming young lady that could cut down her enemies with a few well placed words, and that could fight her enemies and win with just a stare. I’m the girl that would have driven you home after a bender, sober, taming your six gear manual transmission vehicle back home to make sure you didn’t get a DUI. The girl that graduated from mechanical engineering with honors. The poet with the killer dance moves. The woman that one day would have ruled the world with you by her side if you had had the balls to give her a chance.
I know you always wanted a girl like me, or at least that’s what you claimed. A girl that could scream at the TV whenever your main man missed a shot or play while looking sexy in your favorite player’s jersey. The Fast and the Furious type that could tweak a carburetor and fine tune your sports car’s suspension without breaking a sweat. I know you are thinking that you are not worthy of such a rare jewel. A woman that can cook a steak in a BBQ and eat it too without a care in the world while “staying beautiful”? No way, they don’t exist, right? They do. They are real and you most likely told her you loved her like a sister like you did to me.
Btw, that’s the worst “let them down gently” line you can give another human because it is so full of promise, very hard to keep. Which reminds me: Where were you when I needed a brother to protect me from the shitstorms of my life? Where were you when I miscarried what would have been your nephew or niece? What use was your love to me if you didn’t even offer strength and solace? Stop pretending love is a qualifier, it is not. It is a verb, one that you are obviously unaware comes with action and responsibilities. Hopefully you love your sister, if you have any, better than you loved me. If not, you have a lot to learn young padawan.
In case you are wondering, I did get married to a wonderful guy that didn’t really want the NASCAR loving, world traveler, speaks 3 languages and reads books in between playing video games woman, but he took a chance to fall in love with me when no one else did so, according to what you used to say, he won the prize! He is extremely happy with me and has no interest loving me half assed like you did. It was easy after meeting him to not be bitter about being passed over for so long, and by so many guys like you. I know my life could have been so much different if you would have had the nuts to try and meet your match in me instead of friend zoning me. But a better life than the one I have now? I doubt it.
You must understand that being a guys girl was, and still is, a pain in the behind because it came at the expense of not having a lot of girl friends. Girls grow up seeing ladies like me talk to boys with such ease that it is only natural that they learned to resent the type. Many used the tomboy label to turn the guys away from me or at least confuse them about my sexuality. Trust me when I say that my heart broke every time I was interested in you, and you in me, and some girly girl got in the way and flashed her breasts and won you over. As if sex would make you love them and respect them more than me. Geez! Afterwards, the ladies thought I wanted to steal you away! By then I was no longer allowed to be your friend much less your sister. I’ve lost a lot of brothets this way… 😦
Lets be clear, I didn’t learn to blend the gender roles for your pleasure, I came preprogrammed to kick ass and take names using a mini skirt and a pair of he but I chose comfortable attire to win you over. To me stimulating your thoughts, impressing you with my conversation skills, and blowing your mind by pwning you when playing the same type of video games you did. I gave you a piece of my heart that I can’t get nor will ask to be returned because in the end, I did my best to love you like a brother even if I didn’t know how. I had to learn for our relationship’s sake but it cost me dearly.
Maybe at some point you did love me like a sister or enough to let me go because it was the right thing to do but when you fall for a girl like me you never really want to forget her, much less let her go. It is my hope that with the message of this letter you finally have the courage to douse the torch with water and bury it. Don’t come back to me telling me you realize what you have lost. I wouldn’t take you back, ever. “You deserved a better man”, pfft. In time you could have become the better man. Now, I don’t care enough about you to risk my marriage on a fleeting affair. Don’t even try it! I hope you realize this as you hug your pillow tonight in your empty bedroom. You could have had it all if you had taken a chance with me. Or at least yoy could have had the privilege of knowing me in the Biblical sense. He he. Your loss. Move on.
Sincerely,
The “Perfect” Girlfriend a.k.a The One That Got Away
Mrs. Enginerd - Nerd Whisperer 