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Adulting Love and Marriage Mrs Enginerd Women Who Kick Ass In Gaming And Beyond

Stuck In The Middle

Life almost never works out as expected. By the time I turned 40, the last thing I thought I was going to be a DINK with a special needs doggo and unemployed. A few weeks before the big ascent into the euphemistical 4th floor, the job materialized. My first paycheck served as a much needed reminder that my experience and skillset are much more valuable to the industry and local workforce than to my former Fortune 500’s CEO.

Turning the big 4-0 didn’t alter my day to day life but it was a significant milestone. I’m now formally a part of the protected class, crossing over from wünderkind to old fart that can’t keep up with the times. LOL. What fascinated me the most about this fact was realizing that being old and feeling old were two separate phenomena. Trampolines may be sources of injury more so than joy, but even so, my heart still wants to get on an hop until the medics need to be summoned, and one of them calls me m’am. 🤭🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ No one is too old to dream, to explore, to conquer fears. Age is indeed just a number. The best may be yet to come.

I closes my eyes and made a birthday wish: To see positive incremental changes that confirmed we were winning the war on social injustice and systemic racism. I was skeptical that any good news would surface on this department…but then the miracle happened!

Officer Derek Chauvin was found guilty!

The police officer who knelt on George Floyd’s neck – a trend that spread across white supremacists and other officers as a sign of privilege and power – was convicted of murder on April 21st, 2021. Holy sh*t! This small amount of justice spoke volumes about the concept of being tried by a jury of your peers. A brave new world in which police abuse and brutality would not be tolerated by the citizens of this great nation was born. I honestly wanted that victory to last but it didn’t: Adam Toledo, Ma’khia Bryant and Daunte Wright became casualties of the same bigotry and carelessness that led to Floyd’s death. Police shooting unarmed BIPOC teenagers permeated the news. Daunte was killed by a cop who mistook her gun for a taser. You can’t imagine my disappointment and anger at this turn of events. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? What can we do to stop this?

When will this end? Will this end?

Tik. Tok. Tik. Tok.

As I reluctantly accept my standing as an elder Millennial – as a middle aged (Ouch!) human – I embrace the flow of time, apprehensively, and the small and meaningful wins, courageously. Both great reminders that we are alive. That we grow. That women and minorities matter. That there’s some tangible progress towards the goals. There’s hope! Lots of great challenges will be overcome during my lifetime. I witness history as a humble participant, preparing for the worst and working towards the best; becoming a better version of the past. My hope is that we all strive to love as freely as others hate balancing the forces that pit us against each other based on race, gender, creed, and everything in between.

I have faith we’ll make it happen.

Truth be told we are halfway there…

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