Most of my time is spent talking about, writing or listening to my peeps about the pitfalls and peaks of adulting. My conclusion: We are all in a collective slump. Yes, there are some cool things happening – kids, weddings, promotions, per adoptions, vacations – but the underlying feeling is that society’s expectations aren’t meeting eye to eye with our own. Never in a million years did I think being an adult would be exhausting due to the power struggles and misguided and misplaced trust in the systems that serve us. Just look at President Trump’s term so far and you can fully understand why chaos is a ladder. You can either rise amidst the confusion or sink because you never understood how to play the Game of Thrones…
Putting up with unreasonable expectations is one thing but humoring unreasonable people is nearly impossible! Expectations can become outrageous, especially when based on desire and aspirations and not on actual statistical data or grit, but they are a necessary evil. It is a way of measuring success, and in some cases, responsibility. Surely, most don’t ask too much of themselves but when you sound off your life goals against what others wanted for you it is hard to not feel defeated. No matter what you decide to do someone will make sure you feel bad about your decisions and choices. Oy vey!
You want proof that adulting sucks? Just check the many ways one can throw shade, online and in person. Ways that take me back to junior high. Financially successful people get ripped to shreds because they are held to impossible standards: It’s your hard work that earns you money but society decides that it truly belongs to the people and to the government. Some how you have to fund everyone else’s enterprise to be considered a good person. In theory, these is some truth to the common good rhetoric but since I can barely finance my own operation, I can’t imagine how others could afford to. Being told that you should pay more – taxes, price wise, etc – because you can afford it sucks hard. Who do they think they are?
What is wrong with people?
Marriage, meh. I have a whole section about that subject alone, alongside etiquette, women/feminism and relationship advice. Nothing I ever do is good enough representation of what a wife should be, and I refuse to bend the knee on that front and capitulate. Being a woman, engineer, smart and nerdy is a daily uphill struggle. Half the time no one understands me because my words are too big or my references too obscure; the price I pay to drink and know things.
If adulting is definitely sucking, beyond what I gripped about here, my advice to you is this: In a world full of the same, of suppressed dreams and repressed human doings, cause they are barely being, dare to be exceptional – extraordinary. Challenge the system. Don’t settle for less; settle for more with the same. Always grow, travel and learn, aspire to expand your horizons. Grab all those expectations about life, love and the pursuit of happiness and torch them. Become inspired by the unknown. Enjoy every moment you get in this planet. Complain but don’t brood. Bond with others as mystery loves company.
As my friend Phil Collins one said: You can’t take it with you when you go. And in Spanish: No hay mal que dure mil años, ni cuerpo que lo resista. You will endure. You will persevere. You will get a hang of this adulting thing.
Enjoy the ride!