Black O(o)ps III

There are so many things wrong with this game, I don’t even know where to start. Normally, my review would be about how awesome the graphics are and how original the story was but for some reason it didn’t impress me. After watching my sister and husband struggle with the enemies and the story twists, in hardened level mind you, I had zero motivation to try it out. Neither Christopher Melony (Taylor) nor Katee Sackhoff (Hall) was able to draw me into the battle against robots and zombies. To make matters worse, the use of female leads was wasted on this installment. It was horrible!

I wouldn’t wish this experience on my worst enemy.

Although the game is set in the distant future, I felt like I had already played it, and it didn’t help that my crew kept making the same observations. Treyarch mailed this one in. The cut scenes where the AI took over were psychedelic and awkward; the imagery was more fit for a Game of Thrones promo than a combat game. There were lots of crows and a lot of drama but not enough to keep me interested. After plowing through a couple of hard levels, my game glitched and I lost all of my progress! I gave it a few days but to no avail, I had to start all over…

So far, not good.

The multiplayer aspect of the game remains its only true strength. I enjoyed customizing my sparrow and checking out how the upgrades helped me suck less. Joining the fray a few days behind most hard-core fans, I was at a disadvantage. My lowly level 4 avatar can barely keep up with the level 30 and beyond squads. At this stage I am content playing Domination with the noobs. The highlight of my online playing time was getting a message from a player asking me, in a disbelief meets mocking tone, if I was okay with my 1 kill vs 14 deaths ratio. (The answer is Yup. I’m completely fine with that fact.) I don’t play CoD to kick ass and take names. I play to kill time and learn how to hit targets while running up walls and through windows. My fantasy world includes failure as a tool to improve. I’m not in it to impress anyone.

I’m confident the guys and gals that like shoot ’em up games enjoyed the wild Terminator-ish vibe of the story and that the robotics and weaponry employed were of their liking. As a fan of Ghosts and Black Ops II, this concept was so far fetched it lost me from the get go as it was leaps and bounds into the future. I miss the good old days of fighting cartels and militant religious insurgents in present day settings. Certainly not a PC thing to say but it holds true for me.

Apparently a lot of people agree that you can skip this title and wait for the next one. I concur. The constant server problems on the PSN didn’t help the case either. Avoid buying the game and play one of the previous iterations. Not worth the full price tag.

Sledgehammer and Infinity Ward, it’s up to y’all now.

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